2009 The Aquarian year

This year Jupiter, which traverses a sign each year, will transit Aquarius. Neptune is already in Aquarius and has been for a few years and Chiron is there too. You could argue that the Age of Aquarius starts this year, or at least you get a bit of a taster.

What is happening this year? Social networking sites are exploding. Facebook are having problems with their terms and conditions, they tried to change them giving them rights in perpetuity over any material (text, messages, notes, photos, videos) you may have posted up. Twitter is all over the press...a global text conversation. 

Social networking via the Internet, communication without intimacy, without commitment, is about as Aquarian as it gets. "I love you all just don't get too close!" 

Dating via the Internet is no longer a source of shame and embarrassment. I've done it loads this year. It doesn't seem to work. I have the ability to fall in love with a pixel, but the reality is crushing. My experiences with internet dating are worthy of a whole blog in itself.

Neil Spencer, the Observer astrologer, who is helping me develop an astro-menu for the 28th of March, gave a talk at the Company of Astrologers last week. 

Most astrological gatherings do tend to be populated by "women of a certain age, wearing purple". Neil is a rare breed, a male astrologer. (Of course, like chefs, they tend to be more visible professionally but the vast majority of astrologers are women, just like most cooking is done by women). 

The Company of Astrologers is no different; row upon row of hawk-eyed witches stroking their hairy moles whilst peering into the future. Forget girl power. Hag power!

Neil is a stand-up comic of astrology...he does accents, jokes and impersonations in his talks. Here are my notes on his talk:

In the Age of Aquarius, everything will be great, we will all be hippies, it will be a new age of enlightenment. Well it won't be. It will have it's murky side too. 

• Nazi Germany is Aquarian, the chart of the third reich is 30/1/33 at 11.15 am. The shadow side of Neptune conjunct Jupiter is catastrophe and death. Saturn in the 10th of this chart...meaningless orders...from Adolf Hitler.
  
• The French Revolution 10/8/1792 Pluto in Aquarius at 22 degrees in the 7th house. The dark side of equality. 
  

The world wide web has an affinity with Aquarius. Every corporation in the world is saying 'how did we not spot this coming and control it all?'.

The world wide web has revolutionised our world. (Look how many billions were lost last week when googlemail went down. We are totally dependant.)

Neil presented a list of famous Aquarians...lots of scientists (Galileo, Copernicus), politicians, writers (Lewis Carroll, Dickens, Joyce, Miler, Greer, Woolf, Chekhov, Verne) playwrights,  but few popstars(and of course the genre is punk... John Lydon/Rotten and Malcolm Maclaren ) or poets (Byron).

 Aquarius is also the sign of psychology...dispassionate analysis, voyeurism. 

This is Darwin's year, another Aquarian. But Darwinism is a tremendously cynical doctrine which has led, arguably, to eugenics.

The United States has an Aquarian moon. More of it's presidents are Aquarian than any other sign...Reagan, Lincoln, Roosevelt. Nixon and JFK had Aquarian moons. 

Oprah Winfrey is an über Aquarian as is Sarah Palin. 

In fact the U.S. constitution is Aquarian in itself...the whole idea of human rights had never before existed prior to the discovery of Uranus, the ruler of Aquarius in 1781, the same year as the final American victory over Britain.

Neil goes into an aside about the links between Sagittarius, Science Fiction and space travel.

Mars is also transiting Aquarius. 19.32 Aquarius is the degree of Flight. Has anybody noticed how many plane and helicopter crashes there are at the moment?

The Conservatives have their Jupiter return this year (perhaps why they are feeling so expansive and community minded? see post below)

The discovery of Neptune heralded the arrival of photography, the telephone, the phonograph, the age of sewers. 

Interesting note: the moon was in Scorpio at the discovery of all three outer planets.

This year will be about Obama, public service and corporate criminals. 

The 'Madoff' scandal is very Pluto in Capricorn and he will not be the last to be exposed.

Questions:

Is Obama a tyrant? 

Neil: No I dont think so. I think he is actually that rare thing 'a good man'. An extraordinary politician. 

Neil continues: There are only six signs. The first six. The rest are versions of the first six. For instance a Libran is just an Arian with better manners.

While Leo are me, me, me....Aquarius is us, us, us. But within every Aquarian there is a Leo trying to get out. Neil also remarked that Aquarians often have big wavy hair. 

The Pluto/Neptune conjunction in the 1890s through to World War I. produced artists such as T.S.Eliot, Tolkein, Nash and Spencer, who were all in the trenches. The Germans on the other side, took that same experience and made a hell of it.

Another thing to watch out for this year is inflation with the Jupiter/Neptune conjunction.

Atheist buses...very Aquarian. Obama is a believer. You cannot have an American president that doesn't believe in God.

I remark that Obama included non-believers in his inauguration address. Somebody else in the audience remarked that in contrast Blair had to hide his faith from the British public. 

"It's not the done thing to believe in anything here" she said.

The astrologer Adam Smith notes that "Lincoln and Darwin were born on the same day of the same year. Both have Saturn conjunct Neptune in Sagittarius. Time twins."

Neil: There is also Chiron in Aquarius this year. There is always pain with Chiron.

My advice to Aquarians is that ethics count this year. Behave and you will prosper. Put your ideals on your sleeve.

I can't remember how it happened but somebody noticed that I was sending messages on my iPhone.

"Yes I am twittering this talk." I admit.

Crone heads swivel towards me looking inquisitive and curious. I explain what I'm doing.

 "You are pirating my talk" Neil says with an amused glint in his eye, for he used to be the editor of the New Musical Express.

"No I'm publicising your talk. Sharing it, globally".

This roomful, constellation of astrologers looks pleased. Despite their age, they are intensely interested in the future. 

"I'm so glad you brought Aquarius into the room" remarks one older lady to this particular Aquarian "very appropriate".

How to lose friends...

Years ago I was hired to photograph an opening at the Photographer's Gallery for the Observer newspaper. Several celebrities were there. Normally I don't do that kind of photography 'papping', but I was trying to get a foot in the door at the Observer. 

The journalist on the story was Toby Young, author of forthcoming film How to lose friends and alienate people. He was rather self-important and unfriendly towards me. The fashion editor at the Observer, Sally Brampton (1)(now an author) was outraged by his behaviour. Referring to me, he kept saying "Where's my monkey?"(photographers are sometimes known as 'monkeys' in Fleet St. slang), which admittedly is not very polite and you certainly would not say it about a woman photographer. Sally said that Toby Young was arrogant because he was a lord's son. 

During the evening I was the only photographer to have spotted the writer Julie Burchill (known for being acerbic and controversial). I started to take a picture of her. Peter York, editor of Harpers & Queen, came up to me and pleaded with me not to take a picture of her "She's pregnant you know". Despite the fact that photographs of her were rare, I complied(idiot!). Julie Burchill thanked me though, which was sweet. 

I met Toby on a few occasions after that. Once I saw him at the Café de Paris, a fashionable nightclub at the time, in Leicester Square. I was sitting down feeling alienated as I always did. Despite spending the 1980's going to fashionable parties and clubs I often felt miserable and uncomfortable, mainly, I now realise, because I was the only person not on drugs. Toby Young sat next to me and chatted. I was a little drunk and asked him:

 "Aren't you a member of the aristocracy or something? Is that how you got work at the Observer?" 

He replied, with an arched brow: "Why, aren't you a believer in our great meritocracy?"(2)

"No, I'm not" I snorted.

The next time I saw him was at Groucho's, a private members club in Soho for the literary elite. I apologised for having been rude. He was quite affable and offered me a drink. I did think, actually he's a good sort really.

About a year ago, going through some old photo's from my archive, I looked him up on Facebook. I messaged him and received a friendly reply. We communicated a few times since. 

Through Facebook Toby invited me to his Q & A session at Harrods, to mark the launch of the film "How to lose friends and alienate people". He was witty and self-deprecating during the interview and pretty good at accents and mimicry. He also gave the impression of vulnerability. When the audience were invited to question him, nobody put up their hand, so in the interests of helping him out, I intervened. 

"Do you think you lose friends because you are blunt and say what you think?" I began.

"Well, like many men, I have difficulty distinguishing between appropriate and non-appropriate behaviour. Fortunately I'm now married, and my wife gives me good advice, telling me "NO, you can't say that"."

I continued: "Well I've noticed on Facebook you have tons of friends. In fact, one could say that you are a bit of a Facebook slut." (At this the interviewer and the audience titter).

Toby:"Well, it's the only circle that I'm accepted into. Actually Watchdog have done a report on this. They created a fake profile and asked to be my friend. I accepted. Then Watchdog called me saying that anyone could have found out all kinds of details about my private life and then committed financial fraud using those details. I pointed out that as I've written two volumes of autobiography that my private life isn't exactly a secret." 

Afterwards Toby passed me by as if he didn't recognise me. I went up to him and introduced myself, repeating that we worked together many years ago and that we communicate on Facebook.

"Oh, er, how are you?" he said politely. But he looked flustered and tried to avoid my gaze. I then said, thinking that perhaps he was a bit freaked out by the interview:

 "You did really well up there. Great interview. Well done". 

"Er yes" he said a bit oddly.

By now a queue had started to form of people wanting him to sign books, so I backed off, perusing the Food Hall on the way. The rest of Harrods is so tacky.

Despite all social networking sites, where adding people becomes an addiction for some in a bid to look popular, research indicates that nobody has more than 5 close friends and 150 acquaintance-type friends. 

(1) I had a bit of a history with Sally Brampton too. I had to shoot the London Fashion Week for the now defunct Honey magazine. It's probably one of the toughest assignments in photography. Believe me. Don McCullin, the war photographer, (who also shot the 'park' photographs for Antonioni's seminal 60's film 'Blow up') did the Paris shows once and was shocked by the ruthless behaviour of the fashion world.

Shows never start on time and photographers aren't given seats. You have to wait for hours on bended knee, holding heavy equipment, in the tiny space between the catwalk and the front row seats. All the most important fashion editors are in the front row and photographers have to work hard not to sit on their knees. The Vogue editor is naturally the most eminent and you daren't go near her. Surrounding her would be all her young haughty assistants. Once while waiting for a show to start, a light on the catwalk blew up and smoke came out. I watched in amazement as the entire Vogue posse literally trampled on people in a panic attempt to leave the marquee rapidly. They looked pretty sheepish when they had to return 10 minutes later because there wasn't a fire and it was a false alarm.

 At one particularly late show, I was crouching in front of Sally Brampton and she kept kicking me in the back. Eventually I kicked back, unheard of in those circles. Later when I was given this job by the Observer and introduced to Sally, I felt a bit abashed.

"Hmm" she said regarding me with a wry smile "I think I kicked you at the shows".

Relieved that she hadn't fired me on the spot, I replied: "and I think I kicked you back."

(2) I just found out, from Wikipedia, that it was Toby Young's father, who was indeed a lord, that originally coined this expression 'meritocracy'.